How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
did i walk over a car last night?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
