Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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