Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
