I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
