im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
