I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
