So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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