i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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