these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We got so high we made milksteak
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
