he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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