She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
