this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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