i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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