Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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