remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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