All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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