She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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