normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
How's work?
Spinning.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
