This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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