The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
