Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
