you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
