Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
