The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
