As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
as a side note pls kill me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
