Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
