we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize