can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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