i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
