His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Pooping to opera.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
