Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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