Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
someone owes me an orgasm
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
