Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
