also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
