Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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