why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
