this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize