Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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