Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
