Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
