after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
