Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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