Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
