You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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