Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
