OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
