I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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