I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
