I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
