writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
