I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize