i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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