Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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