i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize