I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
