People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
