So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
