I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
