Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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