THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
