Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
