My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
