You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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