Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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