as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
